Saturday, August 24, 2024

Favorite ever sourdough pancakes



 I’ve been hunting for the best ever pancakes…I wanna use sourdough, I want them to be like my mom’s, but also my own creation. I want them to be butter and buttermilk, and sourdough and fluffy, and perfect…and cast iron - not non-stick to cook with..


I believe I may have done just that. 

I modified a recipe from Broken Oven Baking…here’s mine:

250g AP flour 

48 g granulated sugar 

2 tsp aluminum-free baking powder (I use Rumford)

1/2 tsp sea salt

2 large eggs

2 tbsp softened or melted (and cooled) butter.

240g sourdough starter- active or discard!

1.25c buttermilk (more if needed to thin it out to desired consistency)

Mix all ingredients together - don’t overmix, room temp ingredients are better, but not necessary. 

Preheat your cast iron pan on low for at least 5 minutes. Make the pancakes on the pan.

Enjoy with butter and maple syrup 😋

Everyone in my family enjoyed these! Even my particular 3 yo :)





Friday, August 16, 2024

It is with great excitement and lots of nervousness...

In January, I posted to Facebook that 2024 was going to be a big year of transition - I didn't exactly understand the depth of that yet, however. 


A brief timeline of 2024:

At that time in January, I was pregnant with Carwen, we were looking to move to Gainesville area of Florida - lots of exciting changes on the horizon. Transitioning to a new Florida county, and to a family of 6, was all that my mind was planning on...

In February, we buried our sweet baby Carwen Bay - gone so soon.  Our housing choices in the Gainesville area continued to narrow, the forecasted drop in interest rates never came...houses held steady or continued to climb in costs.

In late June, after a contract on a local home falling through, I thought about the idea of moving out of state - Daniel and I were desperate for cooler weather, less dense populations, and more distinct seasons(and cheaper houses would be nice!). I started looking for jobs out of state - I landed 4 interviews, 2 of which resulted in job offers.

The latter offer was based out of North Carolina, in an area we already know several people - one of which being Daniel's bff and his family. The weather is more moderate, but still warm, much of the year- we are used to and prefer that, the houses were cheaper with more land, and the job I landed is a nature-based preschool that I can bring Edmund with me!

So I accepted the job offer, we made an offer on a house in the area, which has been accepted - 1.74 acres of land, with a huge, beautiful home!  We will have a lot of adapting to do: to small town life + working mom again, but we are so excited for this new era.

Last week, Daniel was hit by a truck running a red light, he was in our beautiful VW Atlas, which ended up totaled, and threw our world for a loop. We've aligned what we needed to, and are continuing on the original track. Daniel is healing well, and we've secured a vehicle thanks to the good graces of my parents. We will be renting out our Palm Bay home - if you know anyone with a need to rent a 3/2 home in the NE Palm Bay Road area, please let me know! We are closing on our new house August 30th, and plan to be out of our Palm Bay house by Sept 15, but that date can move up earlier. 

We will very much miss our friends and family here - the network of people we have loved for so many years! I've been a Palm Bay resident for the last 15 years - a challenging and beautiful chapter of my life. We are so excited for what the future holds!  Here we go....

....North Carolina bound! 


Sunday, July 28, 2024

Christians, are your pearls okay?

Proverbs 19:11 "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense"

      As a born and raised, with Bible degree in hand, Christian....y'all, I'm so tired. I'm so tired of the Christian outrage everytime a secular organization does a secular thing - we become the snowflake, the bully, and morally superior, when it best suits us. We start yelling "God shall not be mocked" out of context, and subsequently hurl insults and degradation every which way until something sticks, like al dente pasta to the wall. 

    Recently, the Paris 2024 Olympics had an opening show with drag that many interpreted as a mockery of the DaVinci Last Supper painting. That narrative didn't make sense to me, so I waited, I decided to be "slow to anger" and not quickly offended, and wait for the situation to flush itself out.  The parts that didn't make sense, were that there was no supper, what was with the big blue guy, the amount of "apostles" was incorrect, and none of the social groupings were the same as the painting...perhaps the satire was lost on my very literal self, but I just didn't get it...As with all symbolism, many cultures and time periods share symbols - a line up of people on a stage doesn't mean it is inherently a Last Supper portrayal (neither is a white horse inherently from Revelation either). In this case, the artistic designer, Thomas Jolly, didn't intend for it to be that way.  What did he intend? Feast of Dionysus/Bacchanalia. A Greek event, riddled with indulgent pleasure, revelry, and just excessive debauchery - so his "art" definitely makes sense in that context. As does the white horse, Sequanna, the Goddess of the Seine - The same Seine river where the entire show took place... Please remember, we are talking about PARIS(a city swimming in centuries of worldly wilds) and the Olympics - you know, the originally Greek event(also historically riddled with millennia of revelry)?! There has been a whirlwind of press and instagram posts that have followed this original writing that I am now editing, but I still hold to my opinion. 

    I didn't care for the show - what little of it that I've seen, mostly photos. I'm not into drag, I'm also kind of a prude, I haven't let my kids watch it at all. We generally don't participate in most things like this - including the Super Bowl. It's overall not my cup of tea. I am not defending or approving of the drag show in any way, shape or form... I'm also not shocked that Paris did such a thing, also not shocked the Olympics were okay with it. 

What I am not okay with, is the *constant* string of Christians on my feed clutching their pearls about the trendiest thing to clutch - a nonsense, secular, high art show, in another country, that they were obviously not the focus group for, that was based in the context of ancient Greek mythology, for an ancient Greek event, held in an ancient European city. Many, MANY other things have done mockups of the Last Supper, including loads of examples in Hollywood: South Park, House M.D., The Sopranos, etc.  and even SNL did a mockup with Trump at a Last Supper portrayal, after one of Trump's remarks likening himself to Jesus....I didn't know any of those existed till I went looking for them, there was absolutely no outrage when those venues did those sacrilegious portrayals, or even the outright blasphemy of Trump likening himself to Christ - total silence in the Christian community, except for when they applauded it...

It gets dicey here, please bear with me...All that said, Christians loooove to be victims - we can't exert our moral superiority when we are doing a-okay...we have to be downtrodden in order to pick ourselves up with our bootstraps. Therefore we fabricate things that aren't actual persecution, in order to rally loyalty and a sense of fight and dignity, while demonizing the humans around us. A few minor examples include: playing cards, Harry Potter, drums, electric guitars, the Starbucks Christmas red cup era 2015, Taylor Swift, Chipotle being owned by a gay man, Netflix donating to the Harris2024 campaign, and on and on it goes. We perpetually SLAM cancel culture, while we promote boycotts at every turn, we make fun of liberals and "safe spaces" yet are aghast when secular Europeans do secular European things...and we demand they stop...and then post about how we are boycotting an entire global event, because of the choices of a few people...denying the honor the athletes are due, because we didn't agree with an opening show...

My heart is so tired of this...

Subsequently, some time after the show, Paris lost electricity for about an hour in some areas, affecting some 125,000 people, but not for very long. The response by many was "God bless" and "that's what you get" and so on and so forth.  That doesn't gleam with grace or promoting Christ, that screams bitter and vengeful.  Christ could have joined in at stoning the Woman at the Well - he had every "right" to do so, but he showed grace, mercy, and compasion, amidst her multitude of sexual exploits...God could have struck the performers down during the show, and did not - chances are, He's not asking you to do so online...

Another major critic told me she is just trying to be salt, to preserve from rot...As someone who is familiar with salt on the molecular level, as well as a multitude of applications in the culinary world - be careful that you don't salt your words into uselessness. Salted fish is indeed preserved from rot - it's also useless and inedible until you chip away that salt and soak it in milk and THEN prepare it to eat...Salt enhances flavor and texture of food...but too much renders the food inedible...be careful with that delicate pinch...

Jesus said Mt. 5:39 "But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also."

Peter said 1 Peter 3:9 "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."

2 Thess 1:8 "He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus."

Deut 32:35 "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.”

Mark 11:25 "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Prov. 20:22 "Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you."

Romans 12:18 "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

If your faith rests in Jesus, then be at peace. Stop taking offense at all these things - whether or not they were intended for offense. It simply doesn't matter. If God is sovereign, then we needn't worry about literally anything, nor should you be stirring up strife and vitriol...


My honest and humble opinion, was that the show was far more of a mockery of the peasant class. I very quickly saw it as an extravagant take on the Hunger Games and their Capitol at Panem, where revelry and riches prevail, while the commoner is stifled and supressed. THAT analogy made sense to me, coming from the French, coming from our own much less intense version of the Hunger Games (The Olympics), while we are in the middle of a low-key class war globally...THAT parallel...that is perhaps where your angst and derision should be directed towards...


May be an image of 7 people and text

Sunday, June 16, 2024

Wonderful waffles

#sourdough #discard #scratchcoooking


Giving credit where credit is due, I modified this recipe from the original one at The Pantry Mama. I didn’t want to do an overnight activation on my starter, and really felt like waffles this morning for Father’s Day. I found her recipe and modified it a bit, so here’s my version!

Ingredients:

   WET:

200g discard (active starter is also fine!)

2 eggs

180 g buttermilk (or whole milk is fine)

60 g melted butter


    DRY:

150g AP flour

100g granulated maple sugar*

5g salt

12g baking powder 


Mix all the wet ingredients in a bowl. Mix all the dry ingredients in another bowl. Mix them with each other! 

*the maple sugar makes an amazing taste for these waffles, but it isn’t necessary. You could use less sugar, and/or use white, brown, or coconut instead! 

This made about 6.5 big waffles on my Oster from Walmart. Everyone loved them, including my 3 yo who is notoriously picky. We don’t make waffles often, so this was a nice treat! Enjoy! We topped them with maple syrup and butter. 





~I used mostly organic ingredients, largely from Azure Standard that is certainly not required~

Monday, March 11, 2024

Well butter my biscuit!

 I've been asked for a long time for my "favorite biscuit recipe" and to do a tutorial. I know it isn't anything you haven't seen before, but here's my version!

Dry ingredients:

2 cup all purpose flour ($.75 - I use organic all purpose)

1 Tbsp sugar ($.03 - I use organic from BJ's)

1 Tbsp baking powder ($.19 - I use Rumford[non-gmo/aluminum free])

1 tsp salt

Wet ingredients:

1 stick of butter, frozen, grated by hand or food processor - 8 Tbsp ($.88 - I used conventional from BJ's)

1 cup of cold buttermilk - ($.75 - I used Marburger from Walmart)

Total cost of ingredients is $2.60


Preheat oven to 450.

Mix all the dry ingredients together with a whisk.

Grate the frozen stick of butter using a hand grater or food processor. 

Mix with dry ingredients until butter is all covered in flour mixture and broken into bits.

Add the cup of buttermilk and mix until no obvious wet patches of buttermilk remain.

Pour onto clean, flour-dusted surface. Mold into a mound, cut into fours, stack on top of each other. Press on the mound and clean up edges again, cut into fours, stack again. See video for reference. Do this until you have a cohesive dough (2-3 more times - mounding, cutting, stacking, pressing)

Once you have a cohesive dough, roll dough out to about an inch or so thick. Use a biscuit cutter and press up and down - do not twist - and cut your biscuits. Place on a parchment lined baking pan with edges touching each other. Bake for 13-20 minutes or so. Top with butter if desired.


Alternatively, you can add a cup of cheese, a healthy crumble of bacon bits, and spices like chipotle powder, to make a fun smokey biscuit. You can do maple sugar instead, maybe double or triple the amount to make homemade biscuits for "McGriddle" type sandwiches. I've also done them with garlic and cheddar cheese to make knock-off Red Lobster biscuits as well. It's a very versatile recipe. Try to work fast to keep your ingredients cold. Unlike cakes and cookies where coming to room temp is recommended, biscuits are the opposite - the colder the better! You can also put your dry ingredients in the fridge for an hour or so to chill them and the bowl as well.


Enjoy!





Friday, February 9, 2024

How many times can your heart break?

Salty tears

Will they stop?

My face is tight,

Eyes swollen

Nose stuffed up 


How many times can your heart break? How can it it love so much and lose so much and still go on? And still find love? Can you pick up the pieces? Can you find them at all? Any? Some? Just one?



Many of you know I found myself unexpectedly pregnant in early December. I was elated. I love both being pregnant and being a mother - adding to our family of three living children who would most lovingly welcome another baby was nothing short of a miracle, to me. Emilia (7) has be ardently praying for a baby sister for the last 4 years- to be disappointed with Edmund’s sex three years ago, and onward prayed nightly for a sister…


We felt her prayers answered. 


I have yet to deliver a living baby not conceived in February. I have had an early miscarriage from an October pregnancy, a stillborn from an August pregnancy and now a 9 week miscarriage from a December pregnancy. 


Here I am, February 9, just after my 38th birthday. 


Weary. 

Drunk. 

And in my bed in total darkness, praying sleep finds me. 

I cannot do this again.



From the moment I found myself staring at that faint line 9 weeks ago, I started exercising, making sure I took my prenatals, eating enough protein, taking time to rest, and honoring my body with all its needs and cravings and fatigue…


But this was not enough….


Sweet Baby did not stay within me, but gave me such hope and joy that my tired, crusty old and pudgey body was good for something more than bread and cookies - I had a new life within that I loved so much…


But heartbreak remains…



Will I find a piece to glue to another? I dare not. The fear of delivering a dead baby - yet again- the strength within me fails. 


How can I go on? My three beautiful children await my recovery, while I make plans to deliver their dead sibling - so loved, so wanted, so much a miracle of life.


Pieces of My Heart - where do you rest? For rest is not found, not in my heart, and I am not okay…



Baby H#5 - I loved you with my whole soul and heart and couldn’t wait to meet you…to see the joy on your siblings’ faces, your father’s face, as you rest in their arms, his arms…to hold your sweet hands as you learn to walk, to nurse you in your hunger, to love you heart and soul…I’m beyond wrecked and I am not okay…


Give me grace, friends….I will not be okay for some time…


The only things I have of my baby H#5…a photo of its sweet little self, resting within me…

We named this baby Carwen Bay - Carwen means blessed love, and Bay after the fragrant tree…