Bringing Edmund John earthside...

 welp...I don't know where to begin on this birth story of Edmund John...so just bear with me....

Conceiving a child after a loss comes with immense joy and immense fear...and the constant attempt to dwell on the joy, not the fear.

We conceived Edmund roughly 15 months after Laban was born...And he was due, same timing, as my two living children - that was a strange comfort to me...like "been there, done that."

So his due date came and went...this pregnancy had been relatively easy physically, but I had been having pretty severe hip pain, that was semi-manageable, for weeks.  I was TIRED.  Under the guide of my midwife, she suggested I start some inducing herbs.  My daughter had been 11 pounds and 10 days late...and I think she saw I was fading physically, and that would be too hard on me.  So at 39 weeks and 4 days - a Thursday, I started on a tincture from my local herbalist that knows me and I highly respect.  

I took those herbs pretty religiously for 4 days...and outside of a few random contractions, nothing was happening.  My due date came and went that Sunday.  

Monday, I decided to stop the herbs and give it a rest.  I went to my daughter's dance class and had two really strong contractions in her class....I decided to resume the herbs and see if something was going to happen.....I had lots of strong contractions, and even bloody show that evening...but alas, nothing started.

The next morning, Tuesday, rolls around....I'm tired, I hadn't slept great, I was so eager to meet this baby.  The few contractions I had throughout the day were inconsistent and mainly annoying.  I went to the chiropractor at 10:30am and she was like "less than 24 hours mama!"...I did take a bit of a nap that afternoon...

Dinner time rolls around....I had a few inconsistent contractions...told my mom to go home...nothing was happening tonight. 

9pm rolls around, I post on Facebook a very defeating "nothing is happening post" and then I started getting solid, painful, contractions around 8 minutes apart...I tried to go to bed at 10 pm...and ended up struggling to find sleep at all...my midwife came over and it was definitely go time!

My doula friend Katelyn came, my bff Melany came, my birth photographer Lauren came, both my parents came...and the midwife assistant!  It was a full house, kids were in bed...and it was time to have a baby!

Contractions came steady....eventually transition phase came...the part where your contractions are super intense and back to back and never level out!?  That awful part?    Yea........as that part passed, my contractions started to spread out...and then lessen in intensity...and I was at the push phase...and was not having much urge to push and only seeking the comfort of the birth pool, not the actual birth of the baby...silly me.  Everything was pretty much textbook till that point...and a change needed to be made.  I was coming out of the pool and heading to the bed for a "land birth".  I had been pushing for close to an hour in the pool...

I'm on the bed.  Pam, my midwife for all four of my babies, gave me the "show this baby who is boss", "you need to get this baby OUT" speeches...she coached me into a position best suited for that...and as contractions came, I had to bear down and PUSH.  Ya'll, I cannot begin to describe to you the amount of pain that I was in.  I was WRITHING in pain, sick of all this taking so long, and found the gumption, with the support of the many women around me, to push.that.baby.out.  I could feel him moving through the birth canal, my waters broke at some point - they were clear-  no meconium staining!  A huge relief, especially with "late" babies - he was 3 days "late" at that point....and then we were waiting on him to crown...Pam was working her magic on my cervix - I didn't tear - and when that last contraction came - I passed his head AND his shoulders in ONE push....and the rest came right on out - 6:25 am - he was here.  I pushed for an hour and a half.  Pretty long, all things considered...he was a big baby, and total time in labor was 8-ish hours, if you are counting from late Tuesday night.  I held him just a minute or two, we all cried, admired him, etc. and then the placenta was on its way already.  Normally that is the worst part for me as far as pain, but it happened in a few contractions and very smoothly.  I was soooo thankful!  

We did not know his gender before the birth.  So finding out it was a boy was exciting!  I honestly had no idea...my first trimester was SO similar to Samuel's, but my other two trimesters were just like Emilia's. 

Once delivering the placenta, it was intact, his cord was BEAUTIFUL, he was beautiful...my mom made me my favorite post-partum meal - scrambled eggs and buttered toast with a large glass of OJ.  I got cleaned up in the shower, we did the newborn exam with the midwife and her assistant.  Edmund passed with flying colors - excellent reflexes, his lungs were super clear, nursing great, already pooped, etc. and just a beyond perfect little baby!  His stats: 9 pounds 4 oz and 22 inches long.  As tall as Emilia, but not as fat - LOL!  but bigger than Samuel overall, by weight and length.  So midweight for my 3.  His head was 14 inches - just like the other two babies.  

The kids were awake at this point...Samuel is THRILLED it is a boy, and Emilia is still a little salty about it...but overall seems okay with the baby being out.  

It was a beautiful home birth, even for the struggles at the end with delivery...my baby is everything we hoped for.  We are praising God for a wonderful delivery and safe arrival...I'm SO thankful for circle of women that came around me as we brought this baby earthside.  So thankful for my parents and their involvement at so many junctures....really truly blessed on so many fronts.  I just keep staring at this amazingly perfect, beautiful baby...just overwhelmed with thankfulness...

  We finally decided on a name for him after he was several hours old - Edmund John.  John is a family name on both my parents' sides.  Edmund is just a wonderful name we like!  LOL!  

I hope you enjoyed this birth story.  I'll post the professional birth photos when they are done, here's the ones from my phone for now <3 


Becca H.  

Entitled vs. Selfish - don't be a maskhole. And 'do not fear'...

I've had it up to my ears with maskholes.  Everyone saying "just wear the mask"...some people believe it is a law-(it isn't law in Florida), some states have made laws, some stores have made rules....there's now two categories of extremely polarized people - anti-maskers (pro-choice mask people - wear one if you want) and maskholes(people who believe it is mandatory, extremely effective, necessary, etc).  

I'm going to do a bit of scientific analysis as well as Biblical analysis of these perspectives and why I take the pro-choice "selfish" stance.  

If you don't want to read it, want to argue with me, or want to continue to believe I'm selfish by not strapping a piece of dirty cotton on my face, go ahead and scroll on or close this window out please...I don't have time for you.  

Let's start with the science.  There have been NO studies to date that show masks effective against COVID-19, masks on healthy people that are asymptomatic for COVID-19, etc.  There's many studies that make sweeping assumptions and statistics, precluded with the words "may" or "probably"....please read these carefully...as they make broad claims without data to back it up.  

You can contract it through your unprotected eyes. (source)
so you wearing non-airtight goggles - essentially it is as unprotected as not masking...

What we know about masks:
No mask laws are regulating what material the mask is made of, how they are cleaned or sanitized, how they are disposed of, or the type of mask, OR regulating how well they are worn.  I'd say I see at least 25% or more, of people wearing them under the nose as Trump infamously did in his recent, and first, appearance wearing a mask.  So let's stop pretending - "just wear the mask"- that we are all created equal....we can be wearing them wrong, with awful material, totally icky and contaminated, and still pass as "wearing the mask" and "all in this together".  

An extremely well cited, informative article, written by an author who has published over 100 peer reviewed studies himself, does an analysis on efficacy of masks and viral infections, specifically.  I highly recommend you read his work and his opinion when you are done with my blog.  

Masks range from 2% to 95%+ effective at filtering for the user.  Yes - basically, they work not at all or really well...again, no regulation on any of it...just wear it.  I can literally tie an old, dirty, threadbare t-shirt to my face, with sweat stains on it, and qualify as being just as "safe" as the person in the n95 mask!  

Speaking of n95 masks, they are great for protecting the individual wearing them - they are also vented better - so you can breathe better in them, but they don't protect anyone else because that vent isn't filtered.  Some N95 masks are available without these vents, though I haven't yet seen them commonly used.  If you see people in these vented masks, they are protecting themselves, not you.  That's their choice. If masks are for community protection, N95 shouldn't be allowed...so if you are worried about the unmasked individual affecting your safety, consider those with N95 to be just as unmasked, in regards to you.  

Surgical masks are for surgeons/nurses, in a relatively sterile environment...they aren't meant to filter germs so much as prevent bodily fluid transfers - no surgeon wants a gusher in their mouth or nose, or what have you...that makes sense.  They do filter some germs though, because they are a barrier, nonetheless.  They say on the box that they do not prevent COVID spread.  Again, if all of this were for community health, this shouldn't be allowed. Please stop saying that doctors and nurses "wear these all day" with no problems...They are paid well for their mask wearing.  They have air conditioning, many have also unknowingly conditioned their bodies through years of schooling and working wearing these on and off to be used to them.  When I delivered my children in hospital, no one was wearing a mask then - except the doctor literally as he was delivering the baby itself...he didn't want any of my body juice in his orifices, and rightly so.  As soon as that threat was gone, that mask was off.  There is also evidence that masks DO affect these surgeons in surgery.  Especially over the age of 35. (source)   
"However, overall there is a lack of substantial evidence to support claims that facemasks protect either patient or surgeon from infectious contamination." (source)
"None of these surgical masks exhibited adequate filter performance and facial fit characteristics to be considered respiratory protection devices." (source)
So let's be clear here...there is science against surgical masks being effective as well as possibly not super safe.

Now to the ever common, cloth mask issue.  I'm probably going to conduct an experiment with this...I'm not sure anyone has yet.  But here's the deal...Cloth masks do not protect.  They just don't.  I wear clothes, and yet, if I'm sweating badly - you can smell my body odor - and my armpit doesn't even exhale!  My mouth/nose is breathing, with two "tshirt" layers in front of them, with one of the germiest spots of my body directly pouring into it, multiple times a minute.  There's 700-1000 different types of bacteria in your saliva.  Your saliva contains proteins and starches, is slightly acidic, and moist - primed for growing all kinds of things...and quite frankly, you want that.  Most of which are part of your normal flora and fauna and extremely important in your biological health.  However, if you are constantly exhaling them onto a piece of cloth, right outside your face, in the middle of the heat of summer, you better believe you won't be ONLY growing your beneficial flora and fauna.  I am considering doing a test personally on my mask and seeing how much bacterial growth is on it after 30 minute exposures at home, in the car, and in stores, etc...I have agar and will buy petri dishes and incubate in my dehydrator...trying to see how motivated I will be :P  And for reference of how many germs you come into contact daily, just leaving the house...please refer to this: There's literally millions and millions of germs in the air and dirt right outside your front door(source)...there's trillions inside your body...please do not let the fear of one new one paralyze your life.

  As far as preventing your aerosols from affecting other people with a cloth mask on, "Penetration of cloth masks by particles was almost 97%" (source) Please note: the cloth mask category was most likely to get sick as well.  "and our results suggest that cloth masks are only marginally beneficial in protecting individuals from particles<2.5 μm."(source) COVID is .12 μm - significantly less than 2.5... "for common fabric materials indicate that only marginal respiratory protection can be expected for submicron particles taking into consideration face seal leakage."  Key word - marginal.  (source)  We are making policy, and social laws and judgements, based on the words "marginal".....I have a big problem with that...

A really informative article about masks and the lack of data behind them, written by an expert in respiratory health and it is well cited.
Basically, the only proper way to protect both yourself and others is a mask like this...a strapped on, tightly fitted, face mask...like this...
                                                        



China has been using masks communally for a LONG time...and they suffered a severe outbreak and source of origin...and are currently going through another outbreak.  California enacted one of the strictest mask policies and are going BACK under lockdown because they haven't controlled or contained it in the slightest.  Florida has largely not used masks - our death rates are low, though our case rates are relatively high...but California's numbers are roughly the same...so which was the better option- the severe lockdowns and mask policies with the same results as the state that didn't do those things?  Population wide, if masks worked as well as they are claiming to, California and China would be 100% fine by now and Florida in shambles (we're not), and China would have never had the outbreak to begin with....

As far as the selfish - I can't tell you how many times I've been told I'm selfish for wanting to breathe air like every normal person did 4 months ago.  I've been told I'm taking risks by not wearing the mask, but also that the mask is supposed to protect others, while also protecting myself....I obsessively wash my hands, as my lab and food service training has taught me well...I eat well...I take charge of my own health...as I said earlier, there's millions of germs that could affect me...I trust my immune system has been handling those millions okay, adding a new one is gonna be fine.  I do not smoke, I also avoid sugar, I use herbal medicine, I drink quality water...there's evidence to support Vitamin D, C, and iodine, as well as zinc and fermented foods, to play critical roles in COVID prevention - have we heard any of that from the White House or any of the major health boards? 

....or there's the marginal role of a mask...Why can't I pick the options that majorly lowers my risk, while breathing air properly, respecting personal space (social distancing), good hygiene, and not get judged for it?  If you want to control my air, how about I control your grocery cart?  Would that be fair?  Not in the slightest...I don't control your lifestyle choices, you don't get to control how I dress my face...certainly not for a "marginal" benefit...Also, risk factors for severe COVID include obesity....so I hope that you are eating a clean, all natural, real food diet of some kind and exercise regularly...to reduce your risk of obesity, instead of blaming a non-masker for your COVID...I was told that if someone "caught" my asymptomatic COVID, I'd be responsible for their death...somehow, someone else's health is my responsibility...even if they have smoked for 30 years, or drink a gallon of soda a day, or have many self-inflicted co-morbidities...them catching "my" COVID killed them and that blood is on my hands...how entitled is that...



But who is being selfish - me, wanting to live as I have always done the last 34 years?  ...or the person expecting everyone around them to wear a mask for "marginal" benefits...?
No one is entitled to a germ free/COVID free environment at public places...it's not practical, feasible, possible, etc.  Nor would it be healthy...our immune systems do BETTER under a little challenge and exposure to things, especially in relatively clean environments...our obsession with "germ free" hasn't helped us in the slightest.  It is an entitled mentality that perpetuates this...that everyone in society needs to conform to your fears...I am truly sorry if you are immune compromised in some way - I know that is scary and you need to conform your life to specific needs - and I know that is hard.  My mom has Type 1 diabetes, I have many friends and clients with lupus, hashimotos, crohn's, diabetes, etc. and I know that life style is hard...and none of my friends, my mom, no one I know is expecting everyone around them to "just wear the mask" because they know and acknowledge society isn't responsible for their health, nor would they do a good job if they were...

Your health is your health.  It isn't the community's fault or their responsibility.

Have you seen the communal health?  It's not something that inspires confidence...America is the sickest of the "developed" world by a long shot, the medical industry itself is the third leading cause of death in this country and one of the biggest mega-industries...I just don't jump for joy at the thought of these options being the end all in my health...I have no desire to place my faith or trust for my health or my family's, in the community or medical system...  

Now before you say I don't care - I absolutely do.  Which is why I do not go out when I'm sick...I wash my hands all the time...friends and random people in the community text me every week needing something herbal to help them through a rough patch - I give them what they need if I have it - many times at no charge...because I believe in communal health and if there is ANY way I can help it, I do.  I take my own health seriously - I stay healthy, so I can stay healthy for you - so I am not a good candidate to be a carrier for these diseases...so that I am not a super spreader and if COVID knocks on my door, it stops with me.  I hope you wash your hands...I hope you don't sneeze on my salad greens...but it isn't because of COVID, but the wealth of other icky diseases that are far scarier found in feces and snot...

Now let's talk about COVID itself.  I've talked about prevention options, selfish vs entitled...

COVID affects seemingly every part of the body for just about anyone and everyone...it's clinical presentation varies from diarrhea to headache and everything inbetween.  This is pretty atypical for viral infections.  The most important part of this virus to ME, is the extremely low mortality rate, hovering around .16% to .33% - average being around .2%.... USA Today's fact check.  Yes, we don't know enough about this virus - its long term effects are still being determined - and this is not to diminish the seriousness of the disease also.  A sweet friend of mine passed away from COVID-related pneumonia.  She also had multiple co-morbidities and has struggled with pretty serious health problems for many years.  My heart aches that this is how she died...  But the fact remains, this disease isn't killing people left and right...In fact, researchers believe that many millions have been infected unknowingly...and this has been spreading rapidly and without major issues for quite some time...  There is a huge problem with 30-40% false positives on tests...as well as lumping anti-body tests with positive active cases (this artificially inflates the active case count and spreads fears)...and misrepresenting numbers, even tenfold.  A positive test may just mean you have tested positively for having the common cold too....Could have been COVID...could be a cold...who is to say?!




So even with inflated numbers, millions upon millions of cases never counted, false positives, and hugely exaggerated numbers, our mortality rates are extremely low...Also, with all the talk about asymptomatic spread, there was a study done showing it does NOT spread asymptomatically...and the CDC is saying it is "very rare" if it does...

So let's recap...I'm supposed to wear a mask, for a <.4% mortality rate, for a marginal benefit of the mask, that would be considered very rare risk of spreading the disease, because other people are entitled to believe everyone needs to wear one, for a rampant disease, when I find masks uncomfortable and impractical for my uses and needs - not to mention the headache and short of breath that come quickly...and they become giant germ growers, directly attached to my face and airways...just what every pregnant woman needs...

This is a very interesting article that highlights that masks can be dangerous when worn too long - cause you can recontaminate yourself with the germs on the mask...as well as PPE (masks and things) being the lowest importance when dealing with disease outbreaks.  

New England Journal of Medicine declared universal masking to be "little to no benefit".

As to the Biblical side of this...

The Bible says "do not fear" or roughly that phrase, over 350 times...I think so much of what is going on is fear of a disease, or fear of lack of a mask, that has been ingrained into us for the last 4 months of our 2 week social distancing experiments....Inflammatory language from conflicting sources - from "going away" to "kill your grandma" - it's all very dramatic, exaggerated, etc.  I do believe that COVID-19 is a real disease, one you should be aware of...but if millions upon millions of people have contracted it, and didn't even know it...is it that disease we should fear?  Is it something we should shame our neighbor for not wearing a mask?  The whole "do unto others" Bible verse in Matthew 7...I have no desire to restrict someone else's air - to ask them to care for my health concerns?  I find that incredibly oppressive!  1 Peter 5 mentions greeting with a holy kiss...now, we may not culturally do that in America, though a cheek peck is common in most countries - but hugs are out now....he doesn't say "with a mask at a 6' distance" or "don't greet people now...they might be asymptomatic carriers of something"...(Please note: there are MANY diseases one can be asymptomatic for or silently carrying...most of which have a higher mortality rate than COVID and no one bats an eye or even talks about those...) "A joyful heart is good medicine" Pvb 17:22...I would really like to see smiles and joy in public...I see depression and judgement and fear...I see families who no longer grocery shop together...I see churches that no longer gather as they used to (and are Biblically commanded to do) - with love, hugs, and smiles...it is distance and scowls...we aren't gathering to eat together which has been a cultural practice, and Biblical practice, for literally all of known existence...but there's a new germ now...let's forget all communal things... Philippians 4:6 - "do not be anxious about anything"... "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases,"- Ps. 103:2-3...James 5:13 - "Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church"...John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." Hebrews 10:25 "not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another,"....how much the Church has split over this issue....because of fear...fear they will get or give sickness, fear that the church will be sued should they contract an illness that is literally widespread and prevalent basically everywhere...and we are literally breaking God's word, not trusting in His promises...because of fear of a disease...we speak unkindly to each other - shame one another - because of a dirty piece of cotton on one's face...or lack thereof?!  What has become of the Church...the Body of Christ - it is at war over a "marginal" mask issue?  While no one takes issue with the fact there is lies and deceit amongst the powers that be...that God has given us bounty in this country and access to affordable foods and supplements that we poo-poo about, because Dr. Fauci hasn't mentioned those...that's just crazy herbal witchcraft...all that stuff in the Bible about eating healthy and good lifestyle choices is for losers...

Ya'll, I'm literally sick over the idea of going to church right now...a church I've attended and been a member of for 11 years(and worked at for 5 years!).  I've seen so much division and "just wear the mask" and claims that it is even BIBLICAL to do so...  Love your neighbor - wash your hands, take your health into your own hands...wear a mask if you want to, but setting the expectation that everyone else should or needs to...is THAT Biblical?  Trying to shame people into wearing masks under the "love your neighbor" clause...I love my neighbor, and I'd like them to breathe and smile properly - we all love people in different ways and you can set the example you want, but don't expect everyone else to "love" people the same way that you do.  You also don't know everyone's reason for not masking - for some it may cause an asthma attack...for some it may cause their COPD to flare up...for me, pregnant, it is just insanely difficult to breathe in this heat and humidity, so adding the mask is substantially worse...some people the mask brings on panic attacks or anxiety...people with stimulation issues, sensory processing disorder, or autism this can cause major irritation and irrational behavior, and even violent outbursts...a friend of mine, her son has an airway 1/6th the normal size that it should be...you wouldn't know it to look at him - looks perfectly healthy, but with an extremely restricted airway as it is, masking for him would be extremely dangerous...

You are not entitled to a germ free environment...you are not entitled to know why people choose not to mask...and you are not the judge on how people do or do not "love their neighbor"...

So please don't be an entitled maskhole...we all have our reasons for why we live and dress as we do...please stop yelling "wear the mask"...please stop putting your faith in an establishment that is literally a top-3 killer in our country....be in charge of your health and your family's health - be the change...and stop blaming others when sickness does happen...germs happen, sickness happens, and it usually isn't anyone's fault....it's part of life...

In health and selfishness,
Rebecca 

P.S. if you make me wear a mask, expect to see this: 

We have a little secret..

Numbers 6:24-26 The Lord bless you and keep you;

25 

the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;

26 

the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

We have a little secret that has been on our hearts to share with all you!

Back in February, my husband and I made the choice to turn in my notice at my job of five years as food service director at my church.  I was plenty busy with my home business, None of Your Beeswax, LLC...plus all that mom life holds!  We had no idea where that choice would lead...

A few weeks later, I went to the Florida Herbal Conference...

I finished my season at work, literally the next week "social distancing" was implemented and life came crashing down in many ways for our family....all our favorite destinations closed, my business skyrocketed....what we knew as life suddenly and drastically changed...

But in the middle of that...one thing changed for the better...

In all the changes of leaving work, before COVID-19 was on everyone's lips...

A new life was started...

I miraculously got pregnant...

Don't feel bad...I didn't even tell Daniel for almost two weeks...

Then social distancing started a few days after my last day, and then lockdown shortly thereafter...I didn't see anyone...no one saw me....very easy to hide my growing baby belly/COVID chunk <3

But we had some rocky moments - I had bleeding around 9/10 weeks that scared me half to death...

And as time went on, more of the grief and trauma from Laban's death sorta hit me...so I wanted to wait till we had an ultrasound showing a live, healthy, on target baby...

And we do <3

I'll be 20 weeks on Sunday and we seriously couldn't be happier.  My kids are super cute and super goofy - enjoy!  (Samuel is 6.5 and Emilia is 3.5 and they are VERY close as far as siblings go!)
Here's some pictures of me and the kids we took at the local botanical gardens...it was 86% humidity and zero breeze...lol...there's definitely an attitude of sweat in many photos...


Here's when I told Emilia that I will be having a baby...don't worry, she gets happier later that day:

And here's today's garden photos:

Their shirts say: Big Brother Again and Conquered: Little Sister Status Next Voyage: Big Sister Status and Now Embarking Big Sister