Surrounded in Love - my Laban Joel

It's 6:20 pm, on Dec 29....it's been a very strange past 30 hours...but I feel like I need to get those 30 hours onto "paper" and best immortalize them, before those precious memories tuck away in the folds of my brain and my heart...

On Dec 28th, at 1:30, we had our 20 week ultrasound appointment with my friend, who runs her own studio doing ultrasounds.  She has done all of my ultrasounds for all of my babies and has a wonderful little business - Images of Life.  We arrived...but even on the way, my husband asked me, "are you sure everything is okay?  This pregnancy has just been so different"...and he was right...it had been so different...and we were about to find out just HOW different...All along both of us had thought something about this pregnancy was just not right...we always brushed those feelings off...but the Lord was preparing our hearts...but nothing truly prepares you for this...

As soon as she put the wand to my belly, I knew something was wrong...there was hardly any waters around the baby...and no movement...and no heartbeat...my worst fears confirmed in an instant.  He had never been a very "active" baby...both of my two living children were uterine acrobats...and he was...just not.  I had felt a little movement at times...a few twists and turns...a kick here and there...but NOTHING like my other two. His heartbeat was always challenging to find at midwife appointments, as well.  He didn't "fight" like my other two, either...I could poke them, and they'd kick me back with the strength of a full grown house cat - even at YOUNG gestations....Emilia was 12 weeks and kicking me knowingly...Samuel was 15 weeks...here I was at 20 weeks, with almost none of that ever.  A soft kick here or there...a roll or nudge...

So Lyndsay, my ultrasound friend, measured the baby and spoke with me so kindly and sweetly...she explained everything she could see and identify - he was measuring around 17 weeks (hospital later said 17 weeks and 6 days...so 18 weeks to keep it simple)...and I was 20 and a half weeks.  She showed me fluid on his abdomen and his head wasn't shaped right - because he had started to deteriorate.  I am so glad I chose to use her, instead of the "normal" ultrasound place that most people go to near me...receiving devastating news, from a friend, in a comfortable environment is so much better than a tiny ultrasound room from a random tech.  It was like I had started a journey and angels joined me for every part...Lyndsay was angel #1...

Lyndsay called my midwife, confirmed I needed to go to Labor and Delivery at Holmes, and hugged me tight...we went home, grabbed things for my kids to have at my parents, a small bag of things for me, and off we went to the hospital. 

I had angels at every step of the way.

The security guard that admitted me at the hospital was SO kind...and immediately knew what happened and so understanding...I went to pre-registration - and they pulled me and my medicaid immediately on their system...and my next angel was a nurse friend of mine, Stephanie, who greeted me right behind the big admission doors...she was able to stay with me for some time before heading out...a warm comfort amidst so much sorrow...

My next angel was my doctor...Doctor Hayes...MANY of my friends have seen him as their OB and I knew I could "trust" him as much as I could, knowing my friends who've used him for their births and all the great things they had to say about him.  He is not normally the hospitalist on...this was a super unusual situation....but I know, God put him there, that day, for me...the hospitalist for me.  So much information was given me about possibilities why this happened - he was extremely educated and thorough and ordered 18 vials of bloodwork to test me for basically everything possible - all the results that came back while I was there, showed everything in very normal levels - but many of the tests will take some time for results.  Everything from blood glucose to thyroid was all well in normal parameters though, that had quick results!  Doctor Hayes would be my doctor till 7am, and likely my delivering doctor.  He made recommendations - for Cytotec and antibiotics and an epidural and a few other possible meds.  I told him I was NOT getting the abx after my near death experience from my previous round nearly 12 years ago...and I hated my epidural from my son's birth 5 years ago...he said "well, you had an 11 pound baby at home, you are definitely okay with pain, but this will be different - your body isn't ready for this in the same way.  I'll have morphine and Tylenol with hydocodone ready if you request it".  I asked for Motrin for a then pounding headache, and that was the only pain relief I've used thus far...


I had an awesome nurse, Lindsay, who did my IV...she was gentle and kind and helpful in every way...

I was next taken to Kelli...She apparently knows basically half of my church and much of the staff and took care of them with their babies..."Angel" doesn't begin to describe her.  There are no words of thanks I could ever offer her for all the kindness she gave me. I was her only patient till 7am - which is when she left...she hung out with us...she rubbed my leg at every possible moment when I just wanted my mom near me...she cried with us...she held Laban with the most care and gentleness...

My midwife, Pam, came and sat with me for a time...she told me about this journey...and what a holy time it will be for our family....she has ALWAYS been an angel through all of my babies...

A friend, Jessica Regan, who just adores Emilia(my daughter), came and prayed with me that night before I fell asleep...and snuck me some much needed snacks!  Also a godsend!

My pastor that married Daniel and I - Pastor David - came the next morning to pray with us and comfort us...

My friend Jennifer who took my daughter's birth photos, and many other family photos for us, came to photograph Laban...she also runs a charity called Cherishing the Journey.  She brought a memory box of ways to remember Laban, as well as gift bags for Emilia and Samuel for them to grieve in this process...What a sweet friend to be there at such time of sorrow. 

And shortly after Jennifer left...the journey home began...

So back to the birth...
I really didn't want Cytotec...I have heard bad things, but my pitocin receptors aren't developed enough at 20 weeks to use that to induce...and I didn't want to go home and wait for baby, knowing he had already been gone at least a week.  But it is basically the only option - given in four separate doses with four hours in between each dose.  They do not give all doses if you do not end up needing them...I tend to be very sensitive to meds, so a huge prayer for us was that I respond well and quickly to it, and not need all four.  My sister was given the same drug through a similar journey and needed all four doses and had a long and arduous labor...something we were desperately hoping to avoid.  An hour after the first dose, I started contractions, but they fizzled out after about an hour.  I was given the second dose around 10:30, and I fell asleep around 11:30...I woke up around 1:10 am...I was having strong contractions...and ended up moaning through them around 1:15/1:20...so I called Kelli in...went to the bathroom...she checked me - I was only two centimeters and she could feel his bag of waters.  We thought he was breech, so this was a little surprising to us, but we were okay with that.  The contractions picked up in intensity and pain VERY quickly...from 1:30-2 - it was mere seconds in between very sharp contractions that I was just trying to survive.  With my last baby, I did lots of rocking and counter pressure and moving...this was literally just grip the bed and hang on...I knew this baby was coming quickly.  At 2:00 I said, "the baby is coming..." and I could feel him descend... Kelli confirmed and got Doctor Hayes in there...and everything STOPPED.  All the contractions...just.stopped.  I could feel the baby "crowning" for lack of a better term...Hayes said, "ok, I need you to bear down - to push - just a little..." so I did one little push...and felt the baby give a bit...and then one more little push...and he was free of me...

He was born en caul - in his amniotic sack - and the whole placenta was delivered intact, as well.  Hayes was so gentle and kind...he let me watch as he delicately removed Laban's body from the sack...his waters were so dark...he had a few clots in his cord...but he was perfect...looked so much like Samuel already...it was then that we found out Laban was a boy...up till this point, we didn't know the gender.  I cut his cord...my mom cut both my other babies' cords...it was strangely therapeutic for me for me to cut this baby off from the thing that once gave it life.  We didn't have a name ready.....as I held his delicate little body, we looked up names...I wanted his name to really mean something...so we looked up Bible names...but I was so overwhelmed in emotions...so I found a good list on a website, and Daniel picked out Laban.  It means "shining".  And he is shining with the angels and we know that!!!  I picked out the middle name, Joel.  Joel means Yahweh is God.  I have always liked that name...it was also the name of my pastor growing up, who died of brain cancer several years ago...he was a great man of God, an excellent father to his children, and a great friend to my parents...Daniel didn't care for the name Joel, so for a middle name, of a child we mourn, it didn't matter to him...he said, 'name him whatever you want...'  Laban Joel was so perfect...

Doctor Hayes assured me so very intensely, and gently...this was nothing I did...this was nothing I didn't do...this was nothing that could have been prevented or prepared for or in any way my fault...he told me to not let those thoughts in as they try to creep in...he teared up and said how truly sorry he was for our loss...and how sometimes bad things happen to good people.  He told me how great I did and how strong I was to endure this...and labor the way that I did...He hugged me warmly...he shook Daniel's hand...and that was the last that I saw him...

Kelli stayed with me through so much at this point...I slept a bit...I woke up for a bit...I went back to sleep for a bit...adrenaline, exhaustion, pain, emotions, post partum all the things...it was all very confusing and surreal.  I both wanted to hold Laban forever, and also not hold him...it was so hard...seeing this soft fragile baby in my arms....knowing he was gone....it was so strange...so many confusing emotions...seeing him look like Samuel, but Samuel was the epitome of strength, even at birth...missing my babies at home...

My mom came and saw him, and my day progressed...no one was forcing us out of the hospital, and they wanted me very very stable and "ready" to leave...my mom found a great funeral home that will cremate the baby for free for us.  The hospital helped us make those arrangements. 

I posted on facebook about the situation...and have had the most tremendous outpouring of love I have ever seen or felt...People all over the country - sending me money through paypal...reaching out to me through messages...my church sending me flowers...the warmth, support, and love has been so overwhelming...

We have been so blessed in this process:
-I responded to the meds and had a fast labor...didn't need the abx or extreme pain management.  My husband said "you did so good honey....really...you did."  I later said something about being something of a birthing beast...he said "I know...you are...it's very impressive..." I'm so thankful for the strength the Lord has given me....to endure things like this...
-I had no hemorrhaging and placenta was delivered intact.  A "healthy" delivery, like my other two babies...
-Laban was protected by the amniotic sack delivery and his body was much more preserved than had it been a typical "delivery".   I'm forever grateful the Lord spared him that physical trauma...
-Every single hospital staff person at the hospital was incredibly kind, helpful, and gentle with me and our situation. 

It has absolutely been the best scenario of the worst situation. 

I have had so many wonderful people reach out to me with similar stories...so many.  I've been surrounded in a sisterhood of support and love and grief...

So many people eagerly volunteered to bring us meals, to give us gifts, to watch my kids, to do ANYTHING for us...so much love...

I feel like our hard days are yet ahead of us....but with so many friends and family offering so much love and support...I know we will get through. 

I count the blessings of the 20 weeks and 3 beautiful days that I had as Laban Joel's mother...each little kick and roll and will be forever treasured. 

Pastor David shared Psalm 30 with us...and the verses that he also mentioned Ps. 34:18  - the Lord is near the brokenhearted...in Job, he says "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Thank you, everyone.  Laban Joel is loved, we love you all and thank you all for the overwhelming love...how blessed are we to have two amazing, beautiful, incredibly healthy, gifted, wonderful children here with us, an awesome "family" of support and love...a fantastic church...wonderful family...understanding bosses...we have been given grace upon grace, incredible mercies...

So much to be thankful for...

we love you, so so much, Laban Joel...
Always your mama,
Becca

Republicans - your hypocrisy is showing...

As I live and breathe, I am a registered Republican, raised Republican in a conservative Christian (Baptist) home, voted Republican for almost every candidate since I started voting 14 years ago.

I'm calling you out, Republicans...specifically, evangelicals...because your hypocrisy is showing...

I know I know...everyone has some hypocrite somewhere in them...somewhere they have conflict or can be contradictory...

Trump was recently recorded, on video, saying several lies, while also saying he wanted to write an executive order to change Amendment 14 of the Constitution (birthright citizenship) to extend ONLY to babies born of US citizens.

Typically, conservatives take the stance of interpreting the Constitution literally - very much how they take the Bible.

From Amendment 14, section 1:

"All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. "   

Seems pretty cut and dry to me.  "All" - pretty inclusive word.  "Subject to the jurisdiction" is what is called into question - basically saying, if you 'belong' to another country somehow, then you are exempt from your child being a citizen of the US...

Others argue that anyone living here are thusly subject to the US jurisdiction - regardless if they are a tourist or illegal immigrant...meaning, any child born here, with the exception of diplomat children, are considered US Citizens at birth.

I take the latter opinion, and that is what has been in play, historically, for quite some time.  Paul Ryan also spoke out against ending birthright citizenship.  There is precedent from Plyler v. Doe(1981), "the protection of the Fourteenth Amendment extends to anyone, citizen or stranger, who is subject to the laws of a State".  So history and law agree, children born here, with few exceptions, are US Citizens.  Chances are, you are part of that - somewhere in your family tree, someone benefited from that.  

Now people are finding the author of the Amendment, saying it isn't what he intended...it was only written for slave children post-Civil War era...and using that argument...I personally feel like if we took that stance to interpret the Constitution, in this day and age, with what limited knowledge we have of the original authors - we could get into a world of ooey gooey, subjective, "what he REALLY meant was", nonsense.  Also, if he meant slaves...why didn't he say it?

As an evangelical, pro-life Republican...this is what I'm hearing from my friends, that are supporting an executive order to adapt the Constitution:

(these aren't exact quotes, but they might as well be...it is the point of what they are saying)

"Obama was taking away our Constitutional rights with all his executive orders...but it is okay that Trump is doing it, because it only hurts immigrant babies - totally fine...heaven forbid needy children get help here!  They aren't citizens = no help for them!"  To be clear, Trump has signed 85 executive orders in two years.  Obama signed 276 in his 8 years.  (On average, that 69 every two years...so essentially, on average, Trump has signed 16 more than Obama, thus far).

"pro-life! pro-life!  Make sure you deliver that baby!  Oh, wait...you aren't a citizen...well, you better not have that baby here!"

"Pro-life!  Make sure you deliver that bay!  Oh wait?  You're poor?  You, a tax paying citizen, need help providing health care for yourself or that baby?  Well, why didn't you make better choices...Your poorness is your fault..."

"Reinterpreting the Constitution is totes magotes okay, as long as you don't do that to the 2nd Amendment...I want my guns."

"An executive order to change the Constitution isn't okay, because the Constitution explicitly says so, and we protect the Constitution!   Buuuuut in this case, we're just reinterpreting it and Trump is doing it, not Obama[or Hillary], so it's fine." 


And other inconsistencies...
"We believe in free trade, except these trade wars are awesome...it's okay we need to bail out farmers and the dairy industry is crumbling and many small vegetable farmers are going out of business...we are winning!"

"The economy is the best ever"   ...except for the huge drop off we had in Q3...worse than any drop in the last 30+ years...and our deficit continues to grow...even with our 'booming economy'.

"Anything the media says that reflects poorly on Trump is fake news...."  Even when it is verified by facts....this happens all.the.time. on my Facebook feed...

"Socialism is awful!  I'm not sharing my stuff or my money!  But it's okay when Trump praises fascists and communists...just him being diplomatic!"

"We are prolife!  It's okay, though, that Trump promised to defund Planned Parenthood and Obamacare...he hasn't done it yet, even when given opportunities to - neither has the Republican dominated House and Senate - but they WILL!  We are MAGA!"  ... ... ...talk about faith!

"the Wall will fix all our immigration problems!"  as if we aren't thoroughly surrounded by water and non-walled northern border...and apparently, immigrants don't know how to use ladders, ropes, shovels and boats...

"Peter the Apostle had his blunders too....nobody is perfect...it's fine that Trump is a 6 times bankrupt, known fraud, serial adulterer and serial liar....proud to have him as my President"....he's literally the opposite of what I was raised to be  - a tax paying, law abiding, God fearing, loving, humble, and kind person.  And if Christians believe God has ordained Trump extra specially, then they should be believing that of Obama also...if Christians believe Trump will be a Cornerstone of the Church, as Peter was....I'm taking my Bible and finding less deceived elect...

Now, back to the Amendment...I'm asking you, Constitution holding, Bible thumping, Republican...If you truly believe this is mere interpretation problem and are okay with Trump "adjusting" it and setting an extremely bad precedent for this presidency and onward....or not....

An excellent article, based in the Bible, about how God commands His people to treat immigrants, just so you know.
Hint: it says we are to be nice and hospitable and treat them well.

And not without some significance...if citizenship isn't granted to all babies born here, be prepared to have to prove your citizenship, as well as your partner's, when you have a baby....Like getting a driver's license, but at the very basis of that....proving you were born here to American parents and that your child is here, born here, also of American parents....this won't be easy for MANY people - adopted, people with deceased parents, orphans, etc.  It would become a hot bureaucratic mess...I certainly don't want to drag my kids and newborn to an office to sit there and prove my child is allowed to be here and deserving of the US Citizenship...

Please think critically about our nation and how we are changing things...Republicans no longer stand for what they used to...we are the Trump party now....

Republicans, where are you?

^^^If this ain't the truth^^^

In frustration and sadness,
Becca Heidenreich

Adding a pumpkin to our patch...

As I always do, I'm writing a blog post for a monumental change in our lives....here it comes!

On August 31st, I woke up from a much needed nap...  felt like I needed to take a pregnancy test, based on some symptoms....I put  the drops in...washed my hands...looked like nothing...dried my hands...glanced back


 - faint line....and getting darker...

I had to think...when in the world was I even ovulating?!  I've been super stressed and busy on the whole....still nursing my 22 month old OFTEN (which has been effective birth control up until a month or two ago)...

Shock.  Shock was the sensation...then complete joy...then scared - what if I lose this baby too?  I had an early miscarriage in Oct 2015, 23 months pp after my first child.  The similarities are so similar right now...

I told my sister and a few friends....I did not know how to tell my husband...I knew he wouldn't be happy about this...we have 2 SUPER strong willed, incredibly smart, ever exhausting children.  My 1 year old still doesn't sleep well....my 4 year old is still prone to explosive meltdowns...

My husband was DONE.  Heart full, signed, sealed, and blessed kinda DONE.

And so the next morning, after breakfast, I said "honey, I need to tell you something...." He literally gripped the wall, somewhat jokingly like "what's coming at me!?" kinda way....

"I'm pregnant"

He continued to grip the wall - "why would you joke about something like this?  This isn't funny...please tell me you are joking!"

I teared up..."no, I'm not...why would I joke about a new baby!"

He ran into our room, laid on our bed, and stared at the dresser....in silence...

I wept, told him all the info that I knew...eventually the children came in and he simply left to go mow the lawn...that's it.  No other words...

Shock....it's still the phase we are in...I'm really excited, personally...Emilia doesn't know what is going on...Samuel doesn't want another sibling...and Daniel...still overall shock.

With Samuel - lots of prayer and supplements went into his conception....Emilia- same story and we prayed and tried for well over a year for her, intentionally weaned Samuel, had a miscarriage also...she was SO WANTED and anticipated and so much joy and peace around her whole pregnancy....

We never got pregnant on accident before, or while nursing for that matter...so we're processing lots of new feelings....I very much wanted 3+ children...So I keep mentally telling this baby how loved and wanted it is to us...

We have concerns - money is the main one.  We are still uninsured -though I have pregnancy medicaid this time around.  I am still not a fan of hospital births for myself, personally, especially after my amazing homebirth with Emilia.  I currently make less money than ever - as I have had to reduce my hours at work, due to lack of childcare.  I really don't want to take on MORE work at a different job, and continue the struggle to find someone to watch the kiddos.  Also, elderberries - which have been extremely difficult to get a hold of this year - are extremely scarce.  My business is thriving and providing extremely important income right now, but no elderberries = out of stock and I really don't want to run out of stock!   :(.  Sleep is another concern - historically, our babies sleep good till about 3.5 months, and then never sleep again till they are 2 or 3 years old....we have no idea why they are wired this way, we've done all the things, please don't suggest any more things...we've done.them.all.  Nothing has been successful.

We just heard the heartbeat on Thursday afternoon....it was such a bugger - like its siblings...evasive and stubborn...150's heart rate - just like them....I was measuring right on track, though I'm showing quite a bit already.  But when I heard that heartbeat....oh I just smiled..."hey baby!"....so so precious...so honored to carry another life in me again...

I'm 12 weeks.  Due date is "May"....that's all I'm saying...I go past my due date, I make giant babies...I'm not telling you the actual date...that's the month I'm due and will likely deliver sometime that month.

We have no idea how this is all going to work out, but I have 100% faith God will provide all that we need.

If you could pray for us in this journey, of acceptance, excitement, peace, sleep, and finances, we would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you for reading, here's some of today's adorable pictures!

Zero Tolerance Policy - what it is and what is happening.

Dear Fans - I rarely get time to blog these days...2 children, 2 businesses, and a job...I'm tired.  BUT, I'm now really angry, upset, and it's high time I laid out all the facts that I have found....because this issue, and how it is being handled, disturbs me greatly.
Edit: A new executive order has been signed and I'll address that at the end of the post.

This issue, in various forms has been happening for years, though I have only been recently made aware of the severity of it.  If you believe that fighting for childrens' well being now, is somehow bad, because I wasn't fighting it before, you are welcome to stop reading here.  Know better, do better.

We know we need better immigration laws.  I am not arguing for open borders.  I'm not a liberal, Democrat, and or a Republican(not that it should matter).

Let's discuss the new "zero tolerance" policy and surrounding issues.

So here are the bullet points:

• It is not illegal to be an undocumented immigrant in the US. (source)
• It is illegal to cross the US-MEX border without being inspected, and crossing at proper locations. (source)
• In order to apply for asylum, you need to fill out a form, in person, at a specific location - US soil(not an embassy or consulate in foreign countries), or port of entry into the US.  Even if you entered the country illegally, you can apply for asylum.  (source)  You can apply for refugee status, which is quite similar, in foreign embassies.  (source)
• There is quite a bit of turmoil in Mexico, Honduras, Venezuela, El Salvador, and so on.
• If you cross the border illegally, you are generally charged with a misdemeanor, fined $50-250 and/or put in jail for up to 6 months.  (source)  It is considered a civil penalty - not a felony.
• A NEW policy, enacted by the Trump administration, called the "zero tolerance" policy, criminally prosecutes 100% of people crossing the border illegally - meaning, everyone gets jail time.  This is not a law.  It is a new policy.  It started April 11, 2018. (source)
• This new policy means that anyone crossing the border illegally get separated from their family, if they came with one.  There's plenty of stories floating around the internet, from nursing infants, to young children being ripped from their mother's arms.  I urge you to research and read these stories.  This family separation violates international law.  (source, source1)
• Families are being separated for quite some time, four instances here in 2017, and not only were these families legally seeking asylum, their kids were taken AND 2 of the children's whereabouts are unknown.  Three of the four families entered the US legally, as well.  (source)  Immigration reporter says they are indeed being separated - those who are here legally!  (source)
• When children are separated, they are sent to detention centers where the average time spent there is roughly 50 days.  They get two hours of free time, 4-5 children to a "room".  After this, they are sent to live with a sponsor or foster care.  (source)
• To be a sponsor, you have to be a legal citizen or permanent resident.  A video is flying around the interwebs saying that illegals are becoming sponsors - that is not true.  (source)
• A noteworthy article on parents being deported without their children (source).  
• Children separated from families is meant to be a deterrent, the children are placed in "foster care or whatever" and these parents aren't criminals - they simply didn't enter the US through the correct means.  They are often poorly educated, as well.  (source)
• There are plenty of instances where these children who were taken are not cared for properly.  (source)
• There are new tent cities started, where temperatures will be near 100 degrees F that will be housing children.(source)  Somehow, it is unsafe for me to leave my children in a locked car with windows down, but it is safe to put hundreds of children in tents in temperatures above 100 degrees.
• The American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation for immigrant children. (source)
• These separations could end up permanent, or extremely long term.  (source)
  
  Now before you say, "Well then don't break any laws."
  
  Have you ever broken a law?  Was your child immediately taken from you?  Have you ever driven 1 mile over the speed limit?  Not used a crosswalk?  Eaten food at a grocery store before you paid for it?  Used your blinker EVERY time?  Glanced at your phone while driving with your kids in the car?  What about walking near or on someone's lawn, even briefly, and was your child taken from you, because you trespassed?!  This illegal border crossing should revert to a civil penalty again, and allow families to stay together.
  
  A. these people are in desperate situations.  Some of them are poorly educated and may have heard whispers of America being the help they need.  Many may not be able to read their own language, let alone English.  A Honduran girl, who was detained, no one could help her, because she didn't even speak Spanish - she spoke her tribal language - K'iche. (source)  They are confused, traumatized, and exhausted.
  
  B. Some jails allow for babies to stay with the mother and these have good sucess. (source)
  
  C.  It is very expensive treating them separately.  Since the separation, no matter how short, will be extremely traumatic, there will be loads of extra medical care involved for the parents and the children.  Since the children will be in our detention center/foster care, and the parents in our jails, that's all extra money!  (source, source1)
  
  D.  Melania Trump and Barbara Bush are against this policy (source).
  
  E. Trump says he won't sign any immigration compromise bill unless it allows for funding for "the wall".  (source)
  
  F. Religious leaders, including Southern Baptist Convention and Franklin Graham, are against this cruel policy.  (source)
  
  G. While human trafficking is always a problem, it is not a reason to remove every child from every alleged parent.  Actual parents DO sell their children to sex traffickers, and there may abuse or risk of sex trafficking in any home in America - that is no reason to remove every child.  This new policy makes it worse and harder to catch them.  (source) Government officials have been caught in sex trafficking rings, so I personally cast doubt on our government to not exploit this situation...but I am not super trusting of the government, in general.  (source, source, source)
  
  Now, you say, "Well, American families are separated for crimes and jail all the time."  Well there are a few huge differences:
  1. If I go to jail, I get a hearing the next afternoon before the judge, who may or may not let me out on bond, and I will likely get to go home, depending on the severity of the crime.
  2. It's my language and my culture and my court system.
  3. My children would be sent to immediate friends or family(or inspected and certified foster home) - not a detention center, possibly hundreds of miles away.
  4. I would be given gobs of paperwork showing where they are staying, with whom, be privied to their court hearings, weigh in on their cases, speak with case workers, and work on my case plan for reunification.  Many "jailed" parents even get to meet the foster care parents, if it isn't a family member or friend.  
• So I could go on with more issues, but I feel as if I have given you more than enough to think about for the time being...
  
  My thoughts:
  I think that the border should be militarized - I do not agree with "the wall".  There's hazardous natural implications of a structure that big, let alone the immense amount of money to built it and upkeep with it.  Trump promised that Mexico would pay for it, then that we the people will pay for it.  There is currently nothing in the books for it, at all. This punitive measure of this zero tolerance policy is expensive and taxing the American people, as well as the severe harm to the immigrants.  We are essentially taking children from parents who are ultimately getting deported and putting them in our already burdened foster care.  Keep the family together. <<<please read that sentence again.  If there is ONE thing you take from this, KEEP THE FAMILY TOGETHER.  That is my ultimate goal!  This is the least traumatic for everyone.  If we end up deporting everyone, fine, I guess.  But this separation thing has to stop.  In roughly six weeks, 2000 - yes TWO THOUSAND children were removed from their parents.  There are a few other laws at play, instituted by previous presidents: Flores Settlement Agreement enacted by Clinton, which prevents us holding children more than 20 days, and the DACA from the Obama era.  Previous presidents weren't good about enforcing immigration laws at all, but Obama was the best about deporting.  Either way, there are new laws being presented to help keep the family together - releasing the major burden on the shelters, foster system, and the pain and trauma to those families.  One bill is brought to the table from Senator Cruz which will allow for extra judges and better family facilities to expedite the asylum process.  Another bill is brought to the table by Senator Feinstein to prevent children from being removed from their rightful parents.

          I believe what is lacking here, is a serious lack of empathy.  Everyone who thinks, "But they are breaking our laws!  Those nasty criminals!" has never been placed in a situation where you feel like death(or worse) is on the legal side, but a shot at life means breaking a law or two(one where no one is harmed) but you won't die! When you are in a traumatic situation, you do not think clearly, you probably haven't slept, and you may make decisions you wouldn't otherwise make, because you are desperate.  Most of you reading this, have probably eaten 2-3 proper meals every day, for your whole life....most of you have never had to flee any kind of persecution...have you ever run out of drinkable water?  been pressured to sell your children?  I honestly think the average American has no comprehension on the situations these families are coming out of and we are judging them. Harshly.  Many of my pro-life friends, who insist that a mother not have the choice to abort a baby when she doesn't want it, are also arguing we forcibly take babies from mothers who want their children....because they crossed a border, looking for help.  A worthy article from the NY Times for those who are pro-life and anti-immigrant children.

         To the Christian, or even Bible respecting person, there are a wealth of Bible verses talking about kindness to people.

Col 3:12 Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,

Ps 145:9 The Lord is good to everyone; His compassion [rests] on all He has made.

Luke 6:35 "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men."

1 John 3:16-18 16 This is how we have come to know love: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. 17 If anyone has this world's goods and sees his brother in need but shuts off his compassion from him-how can God's love reside in him? 18 Little children, we must not love in word or speech, but in deed and truth;Leviticus 19:33-34 (HCSB)
33 “When a foreigner lives with you in your land, you must not oppress him. 34 You must regard the foreigner who lives with you as the native-born among you. You are to love him as yourself, for you were foreigners in the land of Egypt; I am Yahweh your God.
Is 10:1-3 Woe to those who decree iniquitous decrees,
and the writers who keep writing oppression,
2 to turn aside the needy from justice
and to rob the poor of my people of their right,
that widows may be their spoil,
and that they may make the fatherless their prey!
3 What will you do on the day of punishment,
in the ruin that will come from afar?
To whom will you flee for help,
and where will you leave your wealth?

That is just the tip of the iceberg as far as the Bible telling you to be kind to your fellow man.  Please keep in mind, many churches have ministries for homeless people - many of them break the law in a variety of ways...they are criminals that we strive to help every day. Many churches have prison ministries - again, actual criminals that we help and are kind to.  My church has a foster care ministry - to help kids in bad situations - But Glenn Beck went to take teddy bears to these hurting children, and got slandered by the conservatives.  (source)

For these families, they may see breaking the law as a necessary evil to escape what may or may not be certain doom.  There are plenty of people who broke the law, to achieve what was the greater good - Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., Corrie ten Boom, Harriet Tubman....names we all know as noble people, fighting "the good fight" - for love, for kindness, for humanity, for the Lord....and yet, this policy, this is apparently the height of all morality...the height at which we judge all people breaking it to be deserving of the upmost punishment-forced separation from your child.  I daresay, we as a people, have sunk to a depth, I fear, we have not charted.  

• Here's what you can do:
  Contact your representative.  Tell them to support the two bills and stop this family separating nonsense.
  
  Contact your senators and do the same!
  
  
  I have contacted my senators and my representative.  I heard back from Senator Bill Nelson this evening.  Here is an excerpt from his response: "Earlier today, I attempted to check on the welfare of an estimated 1,000 children being held at a Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) facility in Homestead, Florida.  The facility operators assured me that I could tour the facility, but HHS denied me entry at the gate. " 
  He also is co-sponsoring the "keep the family together act".
  
  ~~~pray for this situation!!!!~~~
  
  Trump is now cutting foreign aid to these countries whose immigrants are coming here, which I can imagine will only drive more of them here.
  
  Send aid to the immigrants at the border.
  
  If I can any facts wrong or misrepresented here, please feel free to contact me to correct these errors.
  
  Thank you for your time.
  
  
  

  Matthew 7:12(ESV)

  The Golden Rule

  12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."
  

  
  Edit: a new executive order(EO) was signed Wednesday, June 20th. (source).  Trump said he didn't like seeing all the terrible pictures...well, that's nice, but his EO is nothing but a cheap dollar store bandage, on a gaping wound, requiring surgery.  
  
  1. It doesn't have any provisions for reunifying the over 2300 children now taken.  
  2. It does allow for families to be detained indefinitely.
  3. In section one of the EO, the term "available resources" jumps out to me - basically, if we don't have the "available resources", they won't change anything.  
  4.  It actually has this wording in the EO, which I find extremely unprofessional, "It is unfortunate that Congress’s failure to act and court orders have put the Administration in the position of separating alien families to effectively enforce the law."  So basically, STILL blaming Congress, which it is largely their fault, but in a very petty manner I find childish and self-seeking...it was completely unnecessary to the efficacy of the EO.  
  
  Should we be happy now?  We have this bandage...we should be grateful, yah?  Well, I am not.  It actually complicated the situation further and doesn't help the over 2300 children affected.  NYTimes did a great article laying out, objectively, hurdles the EO faces, as well as the border situation. (source)
  
  Now, everyone is saying, "No one is providing answers."  That's actually not true.  Former director of ICE actually has a great answer to the issue.  ACLU has some data on a program that had a 99% success rate on families showing up to hearings (source)
  
  In a radio interview, NPR interviews the former director of ICE.  He recommends a GPS bracelet program. (source)  Now, I have a very interesting perspective on this, as my husband has been the ONLY GPS coordinator of indigent domestic violence offenders in our county, for the last five years.  I was also a digital court reporter for nearly 3 years.  
  
  A GPS program is extremely practical.  It doesn't take that much training to be a GPS coordinator.  You need basic Microsoft Office skills, a court laptop, a cell phone, and a relatively quiet place to work.  My husband does  most of his job from home - even when I am here with the children.  He answers calls, emails appropriate attorneys, keeps case files current.  The only other person working directly with him in the program, physically puts the bracelets on and maintains them.  The two of them have as many as 100 or more people on the program at any given time.  If one of them gets sick, the other does the job of both.  They do an excellent job and have good results.  Neither one of them make a lot of money - my husband is actually a contractor, so he gets paid a flat rate on a monthly basis - no insurance/taxes/etc...that's on us.  The GPS bracelet program could be a really effective and much cheaper way to process these individuals, providing jobs for people, and lessening the burden on all the systems in place.  It also, keeps the families together.  
  
  Again, thank you for your time, and I hope that we can all come together on this issue, that Congress will make some drastic changes for the better, and we can move onward as a country.
  
  

Chocolate Truffle Pie

I don't like writing recipes. Here ya go:


Becca’s chocolate truffle pie

Crust:
For the Chocolate Crumbs:


Preheat the oven to 300 (F).





Combine 2/3 cup flour, 1 teaspoon cornstarch, 1/2 cup granulated sugar, 2/3 cup cocoa powder, and 1 teaspoon kosher salt in the bowl of a freestanding electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on low speed until fully combined.





Add 6 tablespoons melted unsalted butter and mix on low speed until the mixture starts to come together in small clusters.





Spread the clusters on a parchment- or Silpat- lined sheet pan and bake for 20 minutes, breaking the clusters up at the 10 minute mark. Once the crumbs have finished baking for 20 minutes, let cool on a wire rack — the crumbs should still be slightly moist to the touch at that point, and they will dry and harden as they cool. Allow to cool completely before using in a recipe or eating.





For the Chocolate Crust:


Pulse 3/4 cup chocolate crumbs in a food processor until they are sandy and no sizeable clusters remain.





Transfer the sand to a medium bowl and, with your hands, toss with 2 teaspoons sugar and 1/8 teaspoon salt. Add 2 tablespoons melted butter and knead into the sand until it is moist enough to knead into a ball.





Transfer the mixture to a 10-inch pie tin. With your fingers and the palms of your hands, press the chocolate crust firmly into the tin, making sure the bottom and sides of the pie tin are evenly covered. Wrapped in plastic wrap, the crust can be stored at room temperature for up to 5 days, or in the fridge for 2 weeks.


P.s. I have frozen these chilled crumbs with no problem. They are also great added into vanilla ice cream :D

Filling



9 ounces semisweet chocolate chips


1 tbsp shy of 1 cup of heavy cream
Heat heavy cream on stove till small bubbles form. Pour over chips...let it sit for a few minutes, then gently stir till smooth. Pour into crust.

Chill the pie.





Whipped cream:
1 cup whipping cream


⅓ cup 10x sugar
1 tsp vanilla

Mix together with wisk attachment on low to incorporate, then medium high until stiff peaks form. Spread over chilled pie.

Enjoy with every ounce of your being. You’re welcome.