It pains me to write parts of this...and I get much joy from other parts...
I have felt called towards obedience in a few areas in my life that I would like to share with you.
Obedience...
So often in America, I feel that the Christian has a pretty easy task at "obedience". Don't drink and drive, don't steal, don't kill anyone, listen to the Christian radio station, and keep your social media page "clean". Don't watch certain shows, don't see certain movies, don't smoke and take walks with your spouse/family...that's obeying God right? RIGHT!?
Recently, the Lord has tugged on my heart in a few ways...this is PERSONAL, not legalistic, judgemental, or martyristic.
I will not be opening the cafe. It has nothing to do with laziness or lack of desire...Daniel and I have prayed through this heavily. I feel the need to be a wife, (hopefully mother), ministering woman in my church, and homemaker...all of those things would be extremely difficult within the confines of the building that I would be working in with the obligations of running my own small business. I would literally be pulling 14hour days, 6 days a week...preventing me from ministering in church, being a devoted wife, bearing children, and certainly no time for "homemaking"(I want a garden, chickens, and an apiary...let alone the homemade stuff I love doing-cooking, working out, concocting new homemade products, etc.). I still want to get a license to cook for people, cater, and run a small(very small) part time business doing that...because I do love that...and would like to solely do that as work at some point.
The reasons I decided against the cafe are many....and you may ask me why via message if you are curious, I just don't want to disclose all things on a blog :-P.
Why do I feel that this is an act of obedience towards the Lord? - Answer: I feel the need to be a wife and mother(hopefully) more than a career woman. I also feel the need to provide SOME money for this marriage. Opening the cafe, I may not get a paycheck for quite a while, yet, work all the time. I feel that I would neglect everything that is important to me(except food(. Also, I have a health problem that is most likely directly related to the amount of stress in my life...opening my own cafe would NOT help that issue, but only make it substantially worse. I do not feel that the Lord wants me to go in the direction of "career woman" and forsake all the other things I'm a part of.
I have been offered a full time position at the court house, so that is what I will be doing for employment for the indefinite future. The Lord totally put that option in my hands recently and I believe that is the correct direction for my life.
A question I have gotten lately...."What's that thingy on your head?" or some version of that question. I have crocheted myself a head covering. Most of my life-long or at least long-time friends know that I worked with Amish and Mennonites and really enjoyed that culture. Also, after going to Romania, I enjoyed the representation of married women wearing head coverings in church...in BAPTIST churches, Assembly of God churches, AND Orthodox Romanian churches....now I understand their "culture is different"...but I appreciate that culture and have studied the main passage in First Corinthians 11 on head coverings and truly feel this is a point of obedience for my life and marriage...again, if you have questions, points of judgement, or comments-email or fb message me...I would request that the public comments be respectful and PRIVATE if they are NOT going to be respectful.(you may have a difference of opinion, and that's totally fine, but please don't insult me...I don't take public humiliation well:-P ) This is totally a Spirit-led calling for me and my joy and privilege to wear my covering. Ryrie describes the head covering as a theological symbol...and indeed, it is. I highly encourage you do research this passage...it is very interesting. ...."1 Corinthians 11:5 but every wife[b] who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head"...(ESV)
I also feel called towards helping people get healthy. If you don't follow my facebook page even a little, you know I'm often posting articles, pictures, and information about food, nutrition, and health overall. I want to officially get my coaching certificate to get paid to do this! I LOVE helping people get healthy and the segway that leads to ministering not just physically to help people, but spiritually. I fear I would not be able to do the cafe AND so some schooling too! Another reason I chose NOT to open the cafe. I definitely believe that God cares what we eat and how we live our lifes...and health is part of that...otherwise, God would NOT have placed such strict standards (yes, some of them were for ancient health because of sanitaion), but those "dietary laws" are still revered as one of the healthiest diets in the world!
My security is NOT in my food and exercise, but in Jesus...but certainly educating myself and trying to eat and live healthy helps me stay as healthy as possible(on my end of responsibility anyways)!
I hope you see my heart on these issues and pray with me and Daniel through them....giving up the cafe idea was(and is) so hard for me! A point of pride, and now humility. Obeying isn't always easy, doesn't always make sense, and isn't always logical...but we are commanded to "obey the voice of the Lord". So that's what I'm trying to do....
Obeying with a smile,
Becca
Becca,
ReplyDeleteWhat strength of faith to heed God's calling in this! I have also recently obeyed a personal calling God has put on my heart for the past few years, but I didn't want to obey. Sometimes it's hard to give up something we love in order to follow God's call on our lives, but we find the result to be SO rewarding and God fills that void with Himself so we don't feel the loss and desire to go back to disobedience.
I find great encouragement in your story. Thank you for sharing it!